"I'm facing myself for the first time in a long time, and I'm beginning to see myself for what I am: right and wrong, strong and fragile. All the things, all in one."
- Shauna Niequist
I think there is something so beautiful about being so real and so vulnerable. We live in a world that is telling us we have to be tough. We have to have it together. Crying is for the weak. Vulnerability is for the fragile. And it is so easy to believe that. It is so easy to close off our heart from people, to act like everything is okay. When really, our whole life is falling to pieces. It becomes habit to be tough, to 'bulk up'. But this makes it easy to loose sight of ourselves. All those things the world is telling you? That's crap. Being tough and not showing emotion doesn't make you strong. It doesn't make you brave. It makes you put walls up. It makes you run. It makes you avoid yourself. It makes you run towards things so you don't have to sit in silence and face yourself and all of your problems. It molds you into someone you barely recognize.
Being brave and bold and strong is choosing to face yourself and deal with your problems. It is choosing to let down your guard and talk to someone. Being strong is not keeping it together and hiding your emotions to feel nothing. In fact, it is the opposite. It is not running. It is closing your eyes and staring at what is hurting you the most. No running. No hiding. Letting go. Feeling everything. Learning that being vulnerable and fragile is brave and bold. Vulnerability is not weak. It is so strong. It is what teaches us to face our problems. It is what teaches us that this world has been lying to us. "I am strong and fragile. All the things, all in one." (Niequist) When you let down your guard and learn to be vulnerable, that is when true healing will begin. And you will learn that it is okay to not have it all together. You don't have to carry that burden alone anymore. You weren't made to carry the burdens of this world on your shoulders. Death, broken relationships, sickness, hurt. We weren't designed to carry all of that weight on our shoulders and hold it together for everyone around us and still be okay. It will break you and mold you and hurt you.
Let go. Don't run. Face. Cry. Feel. Begin to heal.